"pictures of you ♥"

Thursday, July 31, 2008

i have juz come to terms with the fact tt i hv stopped track...but i dono y i don feel anything...im not sad, im not happy, i don miss it, im not anything rite now...izzit cos i've ardy prepared myself to not feel anything when the time comes? or cos it wasnt as impt to me as i thought it was? or was it cos i din end it the way i wish i cld? hmmm...i don think its all tt...cos i thought abt it ardy...

this is different from the O level period...during the O level period i was lost without track...felt like i had withdrawal symptoms with my body losing weight and me eating less due to less energy used due to less workouts/trngs...

this time im not losing weight tt fast...im still the same size as b4...yeah mite sae metabolic rate is decreasing...but no...i did go to the doctor for my mthly check up and they saed tt my metabolic rate is slightly higher than it was when i was 16...yes it is weird but i hv a condition which i don like to mention...

mebbe its cos i hv exams in mind...i counted tt from the end of my track season on the 16th of july to my1st A level exam, i have 111 daes...im reli trying to study...but i dono where or how to start properly...i been doing my hw nowadaes...and i did a bit of math...i was supposed to start with econs ytd but i got distracted...oh wells...mebbe im using studies to distract myself...

i fell sick the other dae...flu i think...then i passed it on to tricia and i think a few other ppl oso...sorry yall...cos i wasnt as sick as the rest of yall...

played floorball during PE on tuesdae...ran ard liek a dog oni...din do much with hitting the ball in the right direction...oh and i made sure tt when mark was goal keeper, he was a bad 1...hahaha...roars...well i don feel less fit or like weaker...i can still move my legs as fast i did b4...even tho its not tt fast to begin with...

LOVE GURU is dumb...im glad i watched a downloaded version of it...

SECRETARY is a nice movie...no its not all abt the dominant/submissive thingy...its the underlying msg tts nice and comforting...oh and there's 1 line in the movie i like..."sometimes u hurt so badly inside that u need physical pain to show that you're still real still here...you cut urself so that when u watch urself heal, u heal a little on the inside as well"--Edward E. Grey from Secretary

now i noe how to put that feeling it in words...it was so long ago...

ok im rambling...

ms yu convinced me to continue..."u'll break my record in less than 6 years if u continue...6m"...yeah yeah some ppl mite sae 6 years is a long time...but hey i tink its reli short when it comes to accomplishing tt...but she has faith in me tt no 1 has had b4...so i shall do it...make her proud...

and hey...mebbe i hvnt come to terms with the fact tt i stopped track...

i'll keep it somewhere safe, 10:01 AM.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

LET'S GET THINGS STRAIGHT

ppl hv been spreading rumors tt im with shalindran -.-' those who r doing it can juz go die and fuck their motherfucking !@#$%^&*!@#$%^&*

ok let's get thing straight...

I'M NOT WITH SHALI!

I'M WITH NG WEI WEN of RJC X-CTRY!!! :)

yes tts a picture of him...see he's CHINESE and yellow skinned and has reli small eyes...

i don think ppl can mistake tt for shalindran ks -.-" -.-" -.-" and wth we don even talk to each other in real life! oni on msn...gosh...

so all u dumbasses who hv no life and think yall noe everything and still insist tt im with shali can juz go and die...i hope yall get a stick shoved up ur ass so far up tt it comes out from the throat and then choke and die from the pain...

i'll keep it somewhere safe, 9:56 PM.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

cant u tell?

u juz don understand wat i meant when i saed tt...wat u saed hurt more than anything...nvm...exactly 4mths more...then all this will be ok...

or so i hope...

but for now...

i'll keep it somewhere safe, 12:17 AM.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Yi Hao having massage by Rachel

trng ytd actually mr tan told the jumpers to rest...means no need go...and also i thought tt trng starts at 9am...so i went early but found out from li yin and siti who were already there, that they juz found out tt trng starts at 10am...roars...ok lah but trng not tt bad oso...hahah i think its goanna be my last weights trng if i don continue track anymore...hahaha...but the weights easier than jump weights so not tt bad...hahaha...thiru and yi hao were doing at the same time as cheryl and i...hahaha...i was using the lightest weights for the medicine ball abs thingy lah...i used 2kg >.<

then i saw yi hao using the heaviest 1...hahah he makes alot of "URGH" sounds when he threw it at thiru...hahah thiru liek damn poor thing...kena bully by his oversized jr..hahaha...then we had to go to the track do the throw medicine ball upwards then run...wahh i swear i nearly hit myself when i threw the ball up...cos i think i threw it like juz enough above my head to run away...i cant throw tt high...skinny arms...yi hao nearly killed some VS jrs when he threw his ball...cheryl oso nearly killed yi hao...hahaha...

my ass hurt aft trng...well its been hurting since thursdae...so i went to rachel for massage but yi hao was ardy there...so i waited there with cheryl and took pics of yi hao hving massage...hahaha...watch how yi hao's positions change as the massage goes on...hahaha...

this is rachel with her EVIL smile b4 she makes yi hao feel super super alot of pain...

HERE COMES THE PAIN!

[i think he looks nice in this pic...hahaha]

haha i guess i enjoyed watching a big guy like him in pain...hahaha...quite funny...haha plus the bod's not bad to look at...HEEHEE!!! [i told u my xiao di is hot :P ]

went home aft trng so tt can slp a while but then cldnt and i started watchign taiwan dramas on Channel U...haha i don even noe wat taiwan drama tt was...haha but yeah...hahah left the hse late to meet jason, mark and daniel at sutec for dinner...haha they ate at carl's jr so i tah bao from subway then kope their refillable drink...hahaha...

headed to esplanade to meet syazana to watch jing han's performance...hahha...he danced in a musical called 12 to 12...super singaporean songs with singaporean themes...but i guess it was ok...GEORGE IS HOT...haha he's the guy from the dancefloor, 1 of the judges...hahaha...

we met jing han's gf aft the thing...hahah he got gd taste...hahaha...then he pungseh us halfway when we went to balcony aft meeting tricia and andre...hahaha...

TCC aft balcony: yes tts andre...hahaha...

i think u can see the contrast between the HOT OR NOT from the prev pics of yi hao and these pics of andre...hahahaaha stupid short fart...hahaha...ERASER SIZE!!! [shhhh! secret...]

i'll keep it somewhere safe, 3:21 PM.

Friday, July 04, 2008

ytd was sad...pet even gone :( and ppl were actually happy tt i din do well...haha oh wells...i guess tts their prob not mine...

2dae is happier...

i maintained at least 1 event's gold :)

sad to sae it was triple...my most hated event...sians...y's it my hated event is the 1 im consistent at...rahh..BUT! im DAMN HAPPY FOR CELESTE!!! all her jumps was liek PBs for her...and she got 3rd!!! HOORAY for celeste!!!

i hope yu fang does well for her events...she saed she cried ytd when i din do well cos she scared tt it means she oso wont...hahaha...but i hv faith in her...tt she wont give up liek i did ytd...but ytd i had the feeling i was goanna lose long jump a wk ago...and it was 1 of those absolute feelings tt 1 cldnt get rid of...so i expected it but wasnt prepared for my own reaction...

thanks for that 1 being there to let me cry on his shoulder...sorry i wet ur shirt...hahaha...and thanks mr sng for trying to find reasons to y i did badly...and to every1 else who blamed the wind to make me feel better [even tho it din]...hahaha but thanks...

i got to see wei wen 2dae...he was running 5k when i was doing triple jump...when i saw him lagging behind i thought he was liek 9th or 10th cos i accidentally counted the ppl who kena lapped...then tt pt my heart break sia see him sufering liddat tt i did my personal worse jump of 10.29m...hahaha...oh wells...

HOORAY TO THE GIRL PIT JUMPERS!!! eh we collected more pts than last yr leh...i din realise till i counted...hahha...

i'll keep it somewhere safe, 10:21 PM.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

failure...

heartbreak...

pain...

i need more gudang garam...

i'll keep it somewhere safe, 8:23 PM.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Losing Hope

losing hope can be the worse thing tt can happen to an athlete like hmmm 2 daes b4 competition...

am i losing hope?
y am i losing hope?
how not to lose hope?

these are the qs im trying to fit an answer to...

ms yu isnt helping much by putting me down rite now...

"you happy with ur jump? cos im not"
"wat are you doing?"

the oni thing tt reli went into my head was when she asked me "do you reli want it? or are u just afraid to take it?"

thinking abt the negative side of things, i wld feel fucking sucky, i wont feel liek eating and i'll be drinking myself silly on saturdae with gang of 10...

if it ends in a positive way...then i wld stuff myself with food...and celebrate jing han's bdae with gang of 10...

i want the 5 yrs of my track life, the longest standing love relationship i've had with anything, to end with me noeing that i did it...

i nva wanted anything so badly in my life...well this is 1 thing...i love jumps...i dowan let jumps down...yes i noe jumps is not a person...TOO BAD to me it is >.<

JIA YOU JEO!
JIA YOU JUMPERS!
JIA YOU THROWERS!
JIA YOU TRACKERS!
JIA YOU CROSSERS!

JIA YOU VJC TRACK AND FIELD!

i'll keep it somewhere safe, 11:18 AM.